She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
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when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
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I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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