Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize