I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
