why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
