I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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