Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
