So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
