worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
