I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
