I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
