well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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