Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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