At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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