Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
