Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
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He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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