I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
