Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
