What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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