I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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