I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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