I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Are we still banned from the library?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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