I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
