The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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