I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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