Your tits are I can't wait for
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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