well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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