i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
