So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
