TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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