i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
