you guys were way drunker than both of me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
