I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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