She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
