Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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