like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
