dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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