Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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