Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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