Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
