i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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