I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
