You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I am one with the molecules
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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