Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
