i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
