yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
