its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
