This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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