I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize