I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
