Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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