So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
