I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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