i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
