youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
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For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize