I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
