doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
