Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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