she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
