So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
