I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
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I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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