i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize